You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2011.

As Mother’s Day approaches, the media, shops, restaurants and florists would have us believe that if we are not indulged by our children, we are losers. If children forget or choose not to treat their mother, they are selfish and uncaring. How easy it is for us to fall for this myth!

Thankfully, we can choose to see 3 April differently.

This Sunday is a day like any other. Just like any other day, we can see it as a chance for a new beginning, to embrace spontaneity, to do something that will make us stretch and grow or prioritise nurturing and pampering ourselves. We can ignore the media hype and decide to spend it doing whatever it is that makes us happy.

Realising how much pressure and power Mother’s Day foists on to our children, we can choose remove ourselves emotionally from the false belief that to be remembered on this day is a measure of our self worth.  You will not cease to be valuable, lovable or worthy if your children forget Mother’s Day or reject you.

Expecting mothers to give children all of the nurturing, guidance and self belief a person needs throughout life, is a myth. It is never too late to receive love, mentoring and support from any number of strong mother figures around us. Do you have enough wise, insightful and loyal ‘surrogate mothers’ to sustain you?   It helps us when we acknowledge that this is true for our children too. Motherhood is not a competition. As we and our children change and grow, we can receive mothering from many different people at different stages in life. Understanding this can help us feel less urgent and worried if we don’t have contact with our children at this moment in time.

Whatever you do on Sunday remember this: We can cherish ourselves and our lives. We can nurture and love ourselves. We can accept ourselves with all our faults, strengths, thoughts and feelings. We are the best thing we have got going in life. Believe this – it makes Mother’s Day and all other days much easier and a lot more fun.

Take good care of yourself.



Sarah’s new self-help book: A Mother Apart

Support for women

Sarah specialises in counselling and training women. She helps non-resident mothers find inner peace by dealing with guilt, distress and other difficult feelings which can be experienced when living apart from their child. Her self-help book, 'A Mother Apart', published by Crown House, is available now. She also supports business women grow in confidence whilst growing their businesses. To find out more, please visit Sarah Hart's website

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